#but so often that anger is a way to mask other more vulnerable emotions

[waitineedaname]

when im writing them, i often find myself thinking about the difference between jiang cheng and wei wuxian's anger. im not sure how to put it into words, but the way they both express anger is so interesting to me bc like... for jiang cheng, it tends to be his first response. he's confronted with something unpleasant and the safest response is to be angry and lash out, because then that protects the vulnerability hidden beneath whatever has upset him. his anger tends to be explosive, with shouting and violence, until eventually it ebbs away and the vulnerable emotion underneath is revealed. wei wuxian, however, tends to let it simmer until it eventually boils over. I think about the confrontation with jin zixun about the wens a lot, and how you can see him trying to keep a lid on the anger at first, and how that makes him cold and sharp (which is made all the more striking by how warm he is under better circumstances) until finally he can't keep a lid on it anymore and the anger boils over, which is the point at which you should probably aim to leave his general vicinity because an angry wei wuxian is very, very scary

[fisherrprince]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[cyberclouddream]

Enemies in the Natal Chart

Based on the 7th House and 12th house. Also recommend looking for your Progressed Chart. Recommend using whole sign house system.

[ 7th house ] people who are directly confrontational; you can see and engage with them in conflicts that are more apparent and often play out in public or work environments; like to criticize or hinder you openly

[ 12th house ] people who are covert and elusive; work behind the scenes, often using manipulation or indirect tactics; often use your emotions against you; can also be your own insecurities and fears

Note: the 12th house literally represents what’s hard to comprehend or perceive, so if it’s difficult for you to resonate or compare to your own life regarding the “hidden enemies” part…it’s probably because it’s obscure, besides other possible placement interactions. Also, when I use “relationships” it’s also referencing professional, platonic, and domestic.

Aries Rising [ 7H Libra - 12H Pisces ]

Open Enemies:

- people who seem charming and polite but are secretly playing both sides, like those who smile in your face then throw you under the bus to maintain their image

- those obsessed with being liked; may experience a lot of friendship betrayals

- people who screw you over legally or through shady deals; people who manipulate legal systems or twist arguments to their advantage

- those in romantic or professional relationships that may quietly undermine you because they’re jealous of your connections or accomplishments

- your fear of facing direct confrontation

- your indecisive nature; may spend so much time weighing options or trying to keep everyone happy that others may take advantage of this overthinking

- your obsession with being liked and keeping the peace that you may betray yourself

Hidden Enemies:

- those who play the victim card to manipulate you; may seem vulnerable or helpless but actually using your compassion to take advantage of you

- attract people who run from their problems and drag you into the chaos, like escapist and addicts

- spiritual con-artists, people who seem overly spiritual or “enlightened”; may use spiritual or moral superiority to manipulate you, masking their true intentions behind compassion or wisdom

- your own delusions or refusal to see reality clearly; may avoid hard truths about people or situations

- your tendency to let people walk all over you because you want to save everything; may give too much or take on other people’s problems

- you may deal with life challenge’s through addiction, daydreaming, or avoiding reality altogether

Taurus Rising [ 7H Scorpio - 12H Aries ]

Open Enemies:

- partners or competitors who constantly try to assert authority over you

- people who play on your emotional triggers or use shared resources, like money, possessions, or secrets, to control you

- people who openly resent your success, relationships, of influence

- physical/se*ual betrayals; people who’ve had access to your vulnerabilities and used them against you

- revenge seekers after conflict, because they’re not interested in letting things go easily

- your fear of vulnerability, like deep emotional connections or intimate exchanges

- your trust issues that can undermine relationships

- your obsession with control or possession, whether conscious of it or not

- your tendency for intense emotions that may scare off people or create unnecessary drama in relationships

Hidden Enemies:

- those who push you into impulsive actions, making you act without thinking

- people who create conflict about you to sabotage behind the scenes; secret competitors who size you up

- people who undermine you efforts in subtle, passive-aggressive ways, like rumors

- your lack of patience, which can make you act rashly

- your repressed anger that may burst in destructive ways

- your fear of failure which can make you avoid challenges altogether

- your cravings for independence, which may make you refuse help or isolate yourself

- your tendencies to unconsciously create conflict to avoid dealing with deeper emotional issues, as a form of escapism

Gemini Rising [ 7H Sagittarius - 12H Taurus ]

Open Enemies:

- people who are overly opinionated or think they know everything; may impose their beliefs on you or are quick to dismiss or challenge your perspective

- people who don’t like to be tied to down or restricted; they value freedom so much they oppose you if they feel like you’re limiting them in any way

- people who paint an unrealistic picture of things, like making promises they can’t keep or abandon you when things fall apart

- people who see black and white and attack your beliefs, especially when it comes to arguments about moral or ethical superiority

- people who don’t practice what they preach; people who abandon or betray you when something more exciting comes along

- your fear of commitment; tendencies to avoid settling down

- your tendencies to speak your mind without thinking of the consequences

- your arrogance and unwillingness to see other perspectives; you thinking you’re always right

- your tendencies to flee from conflicts or responsibilities in relationships or partnerships

Hidden Enemies:

- people who refuse to adapt or support growth, keeping you stuck in situations that no longer serve you

- people who secretly want what you have; may pretend to be supportive while subtly trying to undermine your financial or material stability

- people who encourage you to stay in your comfort zone, to convince you that “everything is fine as it is”

- people who are possessive, either of you or the resources you share; they don’t want to lose what they see as theirs, whether it’s your time, attention, or material wealth

- people who hoard resources or information and keep you in the dark; they may accumulate wealth, knowledge, or power but only reveal their intentions when it benefits them

- you may subconsciously resist change when it’s necessary, like clinging to old habits or relationships that prevent your growth

- your attachments to material comfort; you may prioritize security over progress

- your love for comfort and routine that can turn into laziness

- you may hold onto ideas,beliefs, or habits for too long, refusing to see when they’re not working for you

- your fear of losing control over your surroundings or possessions; feel the beed to hoard or hold onto things in a way that creates anxiety

Cancer Rising [ 7H Capricorn - 12H Gemini ]

Open Enemies

- people who are extremely ambitious, who are willing to go to any lengths to succeed and use you as a ladder, often in cold or calculated tactics

- people in positions of authority, like bosses, mentors, or even parents; may use their status or power to block your progress

- business-minded competitors who oppose you openly by dominating or take credit for your work

- people who oppose you if you challenge the status quo because they value structure c rules, and traditions; may use their influence to maintain control and resist change

- your fear of failure that make you overly obsessed with achieving things

- your tendencies to overwork, prioritizing career or ambitions over relationships

- your tendencies to be overly serious or emotionally detached

- your tendencies to try to dominate or micromanage others

- your expectations for others to meet your standards without compromise

Hidden Enemies

- people who are two-faced backstabbers, like spreading gossip or misinformation about you

- people who mess with you mind and make you doubt or second-guess yourself and your decisions

- people who constantly keep your busy or distracted c especially from what really matters to you; may be ones who get you caught up in trivial tasks or conversations often

- people who twist words or provide half-truths, and may deliberately mislead you with confusing, contradictory information

- your scattered thinking that might make it hard for you to focus on one goal or keep progress

- your tendencies to overthink and overanalyze everything; thinking too much without acting enough

- your fear of speaking up out of fearing judgment or causing conflict

- your self-deception; hiding your true desires or inner truths from your own self

Leo Rising [ 7H Aquarius - 12H Cancer ]

Open Enemies

- people who resist conformity or authority; those who don’t follow rules and openly challenge established systems, including in your relationships or partnerships

- people who are erratic and change their approach without warning, making it difficult to anticipate their next move; they keep you off balance in conflict

- people who are deeply committed to a cause or belief system that conflicts with yours

- people who use rational arguments or intellectual superiority to undermine you

- people who see you as outdated or resistant to change, and they openly oppose your attempts to keep anything the same

- your fear of losing independence; you may have conflicts over autonomy

- your preference to keep relationships more intellectual or detached

- your desire to stand out and be different; you may resist compromise or collaboration

- people who feel like you prioritize abstract ideals over real-life concerns or emotional interactions

- those who you see as limiting your freedom when they want to commit to you or want you to commit to something

Hidden Enemies

- people who use emotional manipulation against you; may subtly guilt-trip or play on your vulnerabilities

- people who are family or feel like family, but may undermine you emotionally or betray you from a place of intimacy

- people who smother you with kindness while undermining your independence or personal growth, keeping you emotionally dependent

- overprotective friends; people who believe they’re helping but in reality they’re holding you back from taking risks

- people who often come to you with their problems and expect you to constantly support them, which subtly drains your energy and leaves you emotionally depleted

- your tendencies to repress your emotions instead of expressing them, out of fear of vulnerability

- unresolved family issues, like past family dynamics or childhood wounds; may resurface in destructive ways

- your tendencies to cling to old relationships, memories, or situations, refusing to move on and embrace the present

- fear of emotional independence; your preference to remain in safe, familiar emotional territory rather than taking risks or making bold moves

Virgo Rising [ 7H Pisces - 12H Leo ]

Open Enemies:

- play the victim to gain sympathy and control because they want to make you feel guilty or responsible for their problems, whether at work or in relationships; may use your empathy against you

- those who thrive on disorganization or chaos; may create distractions or disruptions that impede your ability to perform effectively, while pretending to be supportive

- act vague or passive-aggressive to make it hard to see them as a direct threat

- those who struggle with addiction, escapism, or lack of boundaries

- people who are unreliable, chaotic, or difficult to deal with because they’re caught up in their own illusions

- you might deceive yourself relationships or refuse to see people for who they are

- your inadvertent victim mentality, which might invite people who perceive you as weak or manipulative based on the misinterpretations of your struggles

- your overwhelming compassion, which can lead to boundary issues, like being too accommodating or forgiving

Hidden Enemies:

- those who have inflated egos, want to be in the spotlight, or who resent your authority or visibility; undermine out of jealousy or envy because your success makes them feel small

- jealous peers who envy your confidence or charisma; may secretly wish for your downfall; may be cheerleaders who criticize you behind your back or undermine your creative endeavors

- people in positions of authority, like bosses, mentors, or people in positions of prominence; may seem charismatic on the surface but work against you in subtle, covert ways; see you as a threat to their influence or status; may undermine your confidence

- people who provide “constructive criticism” but actually delight in pointing out your flaws can be particularly dangerous, often exploiting your need for validation

- people who spread rumors or misinterpret your actions to create divisions, especially among friend or colleagues, which can make you question your standing in groups

- you refusing to acknowledge your flaws or ask for help when needed

- childhood wounds like not receiving the love or attention needed as a child growing up

- your need for validation; relying too heavily on other’s opinions can lead to self-doubt; feelings of inadequacy create a sense of paranoia and social anxiety

- your hidden need to control how others perceive you

Libra Rising [ 7H Aries - 12H Virgo ]

Open Enemies

- people who are blunt, combative and won’t hesitate to openly oppose or challenge you because they see you as competition

- people who lash out impulsively without thinking things through; expect explosive conflicts or heated arguments out of nowhere

- people who have short tempers and are quick to anger; they confront problems directly and forcefully, often escalating minor issues into full-blown battles; leave no room for negotiation

- people who prioritize their own needs over everyone else’s

- people who see relationships as battlefields and always try to one-up or dominate you in some way

- your constant need to be in charge

- your tendencies to be too aggressive or forceful in partnerships; others may feel overwhelmed or attacked by your assertiveness

- your impatience; you may demand instant results or immediate action without giving others time to respond or adjust

- your selfishness; your tendencies to be self-focused may make others see you as inconsiderate or overly competitive

- your tendencies to mask insecurities or admit when you’re wrong

Hidden Enemies

- people who criticize you subtly and constantly; they point out flaws and weaknesses, undermining your confidence and planting seeds of doubt

- people who quietly judge you for not being “perfect” by their standards

- people who may mess with your work, create tiny inconveniences, or spread subtle misinformation that can cause larger problems down the line

- people who downplay your ideas or efforts by pointing out practical “flaws”

- people who impact your health by slowly draining your energy or cause you stress

- your obsessive need for perfection; your fear of making mistakes or not being good enough

- your tendency to overthink details and situations to point of becoming paralyzed or indecisive

- your tendencies to get stuck in routine or habits that feel safe but are ultimately limiting; avoiding getting of of your comfort zone

Scorpio Rising [ 7H Taurus - 12H Libra ]

Open Enemies

- people who refuse to budge on their positions or perspectives; likely fight you through their persistence; long, drawn out conflicts

- may oppose you when it comes to issues involving resources or financial security; conflicts over money, property, or how material goods are shared

- people who resist anything that disturbs their sense of peace or stability; may oppose you if they feel that your actions threaten their routines or way of life

- people who indulge in excess, whether it’s food, wealth, or luxury; often try to make sure you don’t gain what they have

- people who see you as a threat to something or someone they “own”; can be territorial over relationships, positions, or material possessions

- your tendencies to refuse compromise

- your tendencies to prioritize wealth or resources over emotional connection

- your jealousy or possessiveness in relationships; focused on what you “own” or feel entitled to

- your tendencies to prioritize pleasure or comfort over relationship needs

Hidden Enemies

- people who appear charming but are secretly working against you; can have a polite facade as they try to subtly undermine your relationships or manipulate you

- people-pleasers; those who avoid addressing important issues or confront conflict directly

- people who never commit to a clear stand on things, keeping you in limbo with vague promises or half-hearted support

- people who present one face to you and another to others, trying to manipulate social dynamics

- your own indecision, your struggles to make firm choices and never committing to a clear direction

- your habit of putting others first and neglecting your own needs and desires

- your fear of confrontation, letting issues fester instead of addressing them

- your tendency to engage in relationships that are based on appearances rather than genuine connection

- your overdependence on others, becoming too reliant in others approval or decision-making

Sagittarius Rising [ 7H Gemini - 12H Scorpio ]

Open Enemies:

- people who use words as their primary weapon; they spread rumors, gossip, or misinformation, subtly undermining your reputation in social networks

- people who play both sides, often switching their allegiances or opinions to suit their personal gain

- people often try to engage in intellectual battles with you; may use clever arguments, half-truths, or outright manipulation to confuse you

- inconsistent rivals who oppose you one day and act friendly the next, keeping you guessing about their true intentions

- people who charm or persuade others through eloquent speech, but behind the scenes they’re sowing chaos

- your inconsistent or indecisiveness in partnerships; keep changing your mind or sending mixed signals

- your tendency to be too argumentative or quick to debate in your relationships; challenging other’s opinions or trying to prove you’re the smartest person in the room

- your inability to commit to one idea because you jump from them

- miscommunication, whether it’s through dishonesty, misunderstanding, or the inability to listen

Hidden Enemies:

- people from the past who hold onto grudges for years; won’t confront

- people who play psychological games; those who operate in the shadows and seem secretive, intense, or obsessed with control

- people who are obsessed or fixated on you, may harbor unspoken grudges or envy

- people who seek revenge for a perceived slight, waiting for the right moment to strike or sabotage you

- people who are subtly trying to gain power or control over you, slowly trying to dominate or manipulate you

- your fear of losing control, trying to manage every detail of your life

- your repressed emotions; you tend to hide your feelings like anger, jealousy, or fear

- your trust issues; you often fear betrayal or manipulation, leading you to push people away or act defensively

- you unconsciously engage in power struggles, which can manifest as subtle attempts to control others or situations

- your tendency to hide parts of yourself or keep things from others

Capricorn Rising [ 7H Cancer - 12H Sagittarius ]

Open Enemies

- people who turn emotional issues into weapons against you, playing on your vulnerabilities to get the upper hand

- people who bring up old wounds or past mistakes, using sentiment as a tool for manipulation

- family members or close friends who act like they’re on your side but turn against you when it benefits them

- people feign concern but are secretly trying to control your choices or decisions

- people who are passive-aggressive, subtly undermining you rather than confronting your directly

- your fear of vulnerability so you may act overly defensive or closed off

- your tendencies to project your insecurities into others

- your tendency to be overly nostalgic or resistant to change in relationships, like comparing new partners to past ones or refusing to let go of old dynamics

- dependency issues, heavily relying on others for support or validation

- your overprotectiveness which may lead to controlling behavior

Hidden Enemies

- people who have unrealistic ideals or beliefs that conflict with yours; may push you towards idealistic goals that are unattainable

- people who take risks without considering the consequences, leading you into situations where you may fail

- people who promote a life of escapism at the expense of commitments

- those you find in philosophical or ideological debates, who may challenge your beliefs in subtle ways, trying to expose weaknesses in your worldview or beliefs

- people who may come from a different cultural or educational background; may undermine your confidence by making you question your beliefs or values

- your own attachments to unrealistic expectations for yourself or others

- your desire for freedom and adventure, whether for pleasure or business, that may lead to neglected commitments

- your struggle with your own beliefs, which can lead to inner confusion or indecision, or manifest as a lack of conviction

- using travel, philosophy, or religion as a form of escapism from your problems rather than confronting them

- overindulgence in pleasure, spending, or lifestyle choices that sabotage your goals

Aquarius Rising [ 7H Leo - 12H Capricorn]

Open Enemies

- attention hogs who seek the spotlight and see you as competition; may openly challenge you for recognition, trying to outshine you in social or professional settings

- people who thrive on drama and confrontation; may create conflict through exaggerated emotions or bold claims

- entitled people who feel like they deserve the respect and admiration you receive

- people who use their charisma and charm to manipulate situations to their advantage, to make them seem more impressive or capable than you

- people who push your loyalty to the limit; may turn others against you by claiming your not worthy of their respect

- you may feel like you constantly need to be the center of attention or seem validation, and others may grow resentful

- your fear of vulnerability, fearing it will diminish your strength

- your over-competitive nature, always trying to compete to be the best or the brightest

- your dramatic outburst in conflicts, big or small

- your desire to be right that can make it hard to compromise

Hidden Enemies

- authority figures or mentors who appear supportive but subtly undermine your ambitions to hinder your progress

- people who criticize you from the background, making you doubt your capabilities

- people who exploit your fears about failure and authority; may subtly instill doubt in your amo

- people who are quietly working to achieve what you’re striving for, often cloaked as a facade of support

- people who provoke your insecurities in a way that leads you to procrastinate

- your anxiety that can lead you to avoid taking risks

- your constant need to judge yourself harshly, internalizing negativity that sabotages your confidence

- overwhelming yourself with responsibilities, taking on too much which can lead to resentment or burnout

- avoiding authority, which can lead to avoiding esponsibility, or facing challenges

- isolation due to ambition, which push away potential allies

Pisces Rising [ 7H Virgo - 12H Aquarius ]

Open Enemies

- people who constantly point out your flaws or mistakes, nitpicking every detail

- people who use your lifestyle choices against you, critiquing your health habits or routines, making you feel inadequate or guilty for your choices

- people who make you feel emotionally unsupported, challenging your emotions with harsh rationality

- unforgiving companions, people who leave little room for mistakes

- people who present themselves as helpful but use your vulnerabilities against you, like offer unsolicited advice then criticize you when you don’t follow through

- being overly critical of yourself, constantly judging your own actions or decisions

- your inflexibility; you struggle to adapt or compromise and others may feel stifled

- your overthinking; you may obsess over details, like in a disagreement

- you always try to present a perfect image, since you fear being seen otherwise

- your dependence on strict routines or standards in your relationships

Hidden Enemies

- individuals who appear friendly but have different ideologies or beliefs; may quietly oppose your views

- people who seem progressive but subtly sabotage your unconventional ideas, like twisting your plans or dismissing your contributions

- people who act like friends but fail to support you when it counts; may enjoy your company but undermine your efforts through neglect or indifference

- people who compete with you intellectually, often dismissing your efforts or planting seeds of doubt about your capabilities

- people who influence other’s opinions or create a false narrative about you, damaging your reputation without direct confrontation

- your own rebellious nature; you may struggle with standing or being unconventional in a way that leads to insecurities

- idealistic views, especially when others don’t live up to your expectations; can create hidden animosity

- your avoidance of facing responsibilities in favor of your ideals, especially when it comes to others who depend on you or expect more from you

- self-imposed isolation due to your unconventional approach to life, which can make relationships fade due to lack of engagement

[deartrent]

mum's emotions — taa

summary: pent-up emotions and frustrations as a first-time mom finally surface when you find yourself in the familiar arms of trent

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader

notes: my first ever post on here. didn't really come out the way i intended, idrk if i like it, but let me know what you guys think!!

what you felt was wrong. you knew it was wrong on so many levels. you couldn't help but feel the way you did though. seeing trent take care of your baby so naturally, as if he'd experienced being a father before, sparked something inside of you that you didn't know you were capable of feeling. you couldn't tell if it was anger, disappointment or jealousy. all you could think of was how come i carried that baby for 9 months, just to be the worst mother of all time?

trent noticed your frustrations. he could tell when he'd come home from training and you'd greet him coldly or shoot daggers when he'd steal the baby from you, the cries stopping as soon as he held her in his arms, so gently. you were never the type to verbalise your feelings and trent knew not to push you to that point either, but he also knew you were slowly reaching your limit. he wished he could stay home more often to help you out, to take some of the workload off of you, but his schedule didn't allow him to.

"look she smiled," trent turned your daughter to face you, unaware that you had been observing them for the past two minutes. their smiles resembled so much, something you had prayed for way before getting pregnant.

it took everything in you to fake a smile, masking the emptiness you felt inside. trent could sense your mind was racing, your silence speaking louder than words. his heart ached seeing you in this state, reminiscing on the bubbly version of you prior to giving birth.

"she can sense your emotions you know," trent spoke after getting no reaction from you, walking over to where you stood, with your daughter against his chest, "when mum's stressed, she will be too, i read it somewhere." you felt vulnerable as trent towered over you, trying his best to read your facial expressions. you hadn't been too verbal lately, with trent having to rely on body language. he had no clue the reason you hadn't been verbal was the inability to hold in tears whenever trent would try and have a conversation about anything baby related. instead of confiding in him, you chose to distance yourself.

you didn't know how much longer you could hold everything in though, and without a single warning, you felt your eyes well up, a burning sensation confirming that your tear-filled eyes had turned bloodshot red by now. trent was caught off guard, not knowing what to do next. this was the first time you'd shown a different emotion than anger and annoyance since the baby had arrived.

trent's first instinct was to put the baby down on the playmat, before engulfing you into an embrace you didn't realise you needed until your face sunk into trent's chest, the all too familiar scent and sense of warmth, comfort and security washing over you. you sobbed into his shirt, his large hands caressing your back as he tried soothing you.

"please talk to me babe, tell me what's on your mind," trent begged and for the first time since bringing your daughter home, you thought of trent, instead of yourself. you thought about how he must've felt, being a first time parent himself and having to deal with taking care of the baby on one hand, but on the other hand having to deal with an angry, irritated girlfriend, not knowing what exactly is going on because you simply did not communicate with him. you could only imagine how scary and lonely it must have been for him.

"i just need a break," you sobbed, barely audible but you knew if anyone would understand you, it would be trent. "i don't know what i'm doing, i don't know if i'm feeding her correctly, i don't know if i'm dressing her warm enough, all she does is cry and i have no idea what she wants. i'm just a shit mother, i wasn't made for this." you took the opportunity to dump all of your frustrations.

"stop, don't say that," trent pried you off of him to create a little distance as he held your face with both hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs, "you're doing great, i promise. she's alive, she's healthy, that means you're doing a good job." trent tried reassuring you, your breath shaky from all the sobbing. "she's crying, because she senses your emotions," you melted into trent's hands, the eyes you were so in love with fixated on yours, making your surroundings disappear, "she just wants you to be happy, we both do." guilt was the next thing you felt.

you felt guilty because you'd left trent in the dark, taking your frustrations out on him, while all he wanted to do was help, "i'm so exhausted trent, i can't remember last time i slept a full night," you continued your rant, "i miss just cuddling with you and not be interrupted," you could see the corner of trent's lips turn upwards, igniting the same warm, fuzzy feeling you'd been feeling ever since the first day you'd met; the one thing that hadn't changed since the birth of your baby. trent placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, before placing your head on his chest once more, "you know, i have a day off tomorrow, i can ask my mum to babysit and we could just stay in bed all day," trent suggested, earning a chuckle from you.

you could feel trent's heart beat against your temple and as you further sunk into his arms, you realised just how blessed you really were. you couldn't imagine having a baby with anyone other than trent, the idea of building a family with him easing your mind. he was everything you wanted and from the moment you told him you were pregnant, you knew that you and your baby were in safe hands. and that was all that mattered.

"i would love that," you looked up, pressing your lips to his luscious ones in a kiss you didn't know you craved.

[yoonavii]

Never popped a request to anyone via tumblr before but ahhh I loved your most recent Sanji fic so much. You're so talented ❤️

If you ever feel inspired, what about something where Sanji joins the crew, and sees how close reader and Zoro are (whether or not Zoro actually does have feelings for reader, idk!), and he gets jealous, until some event or fight and the reader shows how she cares for him and it all comes out in the open

(love me a bit of angst!)

Thank you!!🥺 and Welp, I’m inspired!! I tried my best with this one cause I’ve been a little dusty with angst lately so I apologize in advance. Hope you still enjoy it though!

Jealous

OPLA! Sanji x Reader

After the tumultuous events at the Baratie, Sanji officially joined the Straw Hat Pirates as their skilled cook. Initially, he was thrilled to be part of the crew, living his dream of sailing the Grand Line with an extraordinary group of individuals. However, as the days turned into weeks, he couldn’t help but notice something that gnawed at his heart – your growing closeness to Zoro.

On the surface, it was an inseparable bond formed through countless adventures, battles, and shared moments. You and Zoro seemed like kindred spirits, and it was clear to everyone that you had each other’s backs. They trained together, sparred together, and sometimes, they even spent hours talking about their dreams late into the night.

For Sanji, it was painful to watch. He had harbored deep feelings for you but never found the courage to express them. Instead, he masked his emotions with jealousy, believing that you and Zoro shared a connection that he could never hope to replicate.

As the crew continued their journey, heading toward the tumultuous waters of the conomi islands to save Nami, the tension between Sanji and Zoro escalated. Their arguments, once subtle jabs, had evolved into full-blown conflicts, often ending in physical confrontations. The crew couldn’t ignore the rift growing between them, and their division was affecting their performance in battles.

One day, as the crew faced off against the Fish-Men on the foreboding Arlong Park, the simmering animosity between Sanji and Zoro reached its boiling point. The battlefield became a stage for their pent-up anger to explode. Swords clashed against kicks, and fists met with blades in a cacophony of violence. You, exhausted from fighting alongside your bickering crewmates, couldn’t take it any longer. With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you stepped boldly between Sanji and Zoro, ignoring the danger of the ongoing battle. “Enough!” you roared, your voice cutting through the chaos. “We can’t afford to be divided like this, especially in a battle like this one!”

Sanji and Zoro froze, their faces flushed with anger, but they both turned their attention to you. Your presence had an immediate calming effect. You took a deep breath, then continued, “Sanji, Zoro, we’re a crew. We’re a family. And I can’t stand to see you two at odds like this.” Sanji’s expression softened as he listened intently to your words. You took a step closer to him, your voice quivering slightly with vulnerability. “Sanji, you should know that I care about you deeply. It’s not just about Zoro and me. I want us all to be close and support each other. If it’s causing you pain, then let’s find a way to work through it.”

Sanji’s heart raced as he absorbed your confession. He never expected to hear those words from you. Slowly, he nodded, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I… I feel the same way y/n. I was just being stupidly jealous.” You reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, your touch gentle and reassuring. “Let’s put this behind us, Sanji. We can be together as a crew, as friends, and as something more, if you want.”

With the tension diffused, Sanji and Zoro exchanged a begrudging nod of understanding. The three of you returned to the battle, but this time, there was a newfound unity among the Straw Hat Pirates. While they hadn’t completely resolved their differences, they had taken the first steps toward mutual respect, recognizing that they each had their unique strengths and weaknesses. The bonds of the crew were stronger than ever, and as you fought side by side, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that you had mended a broken heart and solidified the crew’s unbreakable spirit.

As the sun set on Arlong Park, a feeling of hope and reconciliation washed over the crew. Sanji and Zoro had begun to understand that their differences could be complementary rather than divisive, and with your support, they would continue to grow and adapt as a unified crew. The journey continued, marked by a deeper sense of camaraderie, love, and acceptance, proving that even in the face of jealousy and conflict, the bonds of friendship could prevail and grow stronger.

©𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐈— Any sign/evidence of plagiarism made from outside this name will be dealt with by whatever means necessary. Legal action may occur if non fanfiction works are plagiarized.

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Jason & Anger

Ever since his comeback as the Red Hood, people have started associating Jason with the word "angry", sometimes even before that.

But the anger he felt before his death is different to the one he shows now.

Robin!Jason is angry when he is met wit injustice and its perpetrator. You lie to him, he's going to be angry with you, a rogue killed someone close to him, he is going to be angry with them. It is righteous anger, but also hurt. Sometimes for himself, sometimes for victims.

And Jason still carries around that type of anger with him.

But writers have written him more and more as explosive and destructive. But other times, it is very calculated, like in Red Hood : Lost Days.

Jason was never one to hide his anger, but it is the main emotion he lets others see.

So why anger specifically? Why not sadness, despair, hopelessness?

For that, we need to take a look at anger itself.

Often, anger is just a mask for other feelings. Like hurt or betrayal. It os a mask so we don't have to feel as weak.

Sadness or Depression even, leaves you with this emptiness. This nothingness. It sucks everything from you. It establishes itself as a parasite where you're unable to distinguish if it is you who is thinking those things, or if it is depression.

It leaves you weak and vulnerable and it feels like it has control over you instead of the other way around.

So, how does anger compare to that?

Anger feels more like a friend. Sometimes a false friend, sure, but its company leaves you with so much power. Power you feel like you are missing. Anger can be so great, it causes us to hurt people, even those we love. And there might be instances for which you won't feel guilty for lashing out. When sadness shows you how powerless you are in this world, anger will tell you that you can do whatever you want.

It gives you control.

And for a character that had so little control in his life, as he had to experience one tragedy after another, when he cannot even trust the woman who birthed him and he can't disable a bomb because his hands are that damaged, it is no surprise that anger became a constant in his life.

Because what would happen if it wasn't? Where would that leave him? What truths would he have to accept?

[abby118]

I wanted your opinion on reading Thor's body language on Loki, with the touch of his hand on his neck. I have seen that when the touch is made on the back of the neck (Thor does it slightly more laterally) it is said to mean: I control and tame, the one who touches establishes himself as a guide, often influencing the choices and opinions of others. therefore it does not have a necessarily negative meaning, but it is not exactly a gesture that indicates closeness, friendship or reassurance. in fact it seems to mirror the dynamic we see between thor and loki. what do you think?

Thor is definitely more expressive and specifically more reactive than Loki and that partially comes down to his personality as well as the environment and position he was raised in.

People often wonder about the neck touching and to that I say, what do you do when you're an expressive person that conveys their emotions through touch? You touch someone and you do so in a way that they can notice and feel.

Loki is heavily armoured, as are the majority of Asgard's men (now, we won't count Thor here because he hates wearing his sleeves but generally, he would belong to this category as well). If you touch someone who's wearing layers of leather, fabric, metal and whatever materials make up the armour, they will not feel a thing. That is why he goes for the only spot that's not covered - as the fandom used to call it back in the day, 'the infamous Asgardian "insert blade here" neckline'.

But of course, that is not all, it's never that simple. I assume you mean the scene in The Avengers when they first meet on Midgard so I will talk about that one first.

In this particular instance, I did not read it as anything other than Thor trying desperately to make a point whilst lacking the emotional ability to do so in a way that Loki needed. He's the kind of person that tries to solve the problem first and deal with the aftermant and the emotions later. Hence, why the first thing he said to his brother after not having seen him for a year after his attempted suicide was a question about the tesseract's location. I would argue this doesn't mean Thor did not care; I think he really did but he didn't know how to show it + there was a problem that needed a solution first.

Thor and Loki's personalities are polar opposites; Loki is the strategist, he's perceptive and does have the emotional intelligence Thor lacks. Thor, on the other hand, acts before anything else, he deals with the consequences later, he is not the most observant and he hides behind this cheery mask that is supposed to conceal any signs of vulnerability because in Asgard, that is seen as a major weakness. I'm not even sure he, himself, knows it's a mask; we do see both of them repressing emotions which again, is a result of their world's culture with the added pressure of their position as Asgard's heirs.

So yes, I think he tried to show Loki he wanted him back and that he cared but he completely screwed it up with the way he went about it. I do not blame Loki for how he responded to that in the situation and circumstances he was in.

+ it was very much also a 'I see you‚ look at me‚ I see you' because Thor never looked at him before. He took his presence for granted.

However, fast foreward to Thor The Dark World, we see a clearer display of how Thor's frustration manifests which tends to be aggression and similar to what you're getting at. He is impulsive and has problems dealing with his anger which we already saw in the previous movies. This all culminated in the interaction on the skiff in Svartalfheim but before that, he broke Loki out of prison.

Obviously, he was trying to convince himself (and Loki) that he did not care about him anymore and that his plan was unrelated to their relation. Deep down, both of them knew that was not true but that's a different topic.

When he broke him out and Loki was having his annoying younger sibling moment, Thor shut him up by covering his mouth and slamming him onto the pillar to avoid the two Einherjar seeing them. Some might argue that was normal because he needed him to be quiet fast but I say that was him finding an opportunity to release his frustration with Loki and their relationship in general.

This has been brought up before, but that moment almost looked like kidnapping which, in a way, it was. Loki did agree to go but he was still a prisoner and essentially threatened.

But then again, it is almost childish and reminiscent of an exaggerated version of their relationship. I won't repeat any more of the points on this but I recomment you read this because I agree with some of the things stated here. (screenshotting in case the link breaks)

[princema-k]

i would actually love to hear your thoughts on when layton would emote the ways you've drawn him! if you want! no pressure if not!

OH B OY HERE WE GO!!!!! again take everything with a grain of salt bc i Forgor bits of the series

BLANKET SPOILER FOR UNWOUND FUTURE/MIRACLE MASK MAYBE??/AZRAN LEGACY

(for reference we are talking abt this post)

SURPRISE: As we know in the PL series, it's very very hard to catch the professor off-guard in any way. Most of the things you would think would surprise him, he's already known for a long time and was just keeping quiet about it so that he could use that information at the right time.

With that being said, the times where he does seem to get somewhat surprised (or taken aback. he's so goddamn emotionally constipated) seem to be when the shocker in question has personal relation to him. Though in the series proper, none of the shocking personal factoids are ever presented in a way to make him jump. So theoretically, if any twists like Claire or Descole's reveal were presented much more aggressively, he might emote like how I've drawn him (though I kinda doubt it). Or just jumpscare him lmao

SADNESS: Obviously we know that Layton can feel sadness and cry, though even at the end of Unwound Future it's clear that he's still holding back with his crying. I'd wager that it's because he's out in public and around an impressionable individual (Luke) that he's not letting himself fully express his grief. After all, a true gentleman never makes a scene in public.

I'd say, if he were to cry like the way I've drawn him (that is, bawling his eyes out), it'd probably be at the end of UF when Luke leaves for America, and he'd have to be alone. And I mean completely alone. He'd be very careful about having anyone even remotely near him before he breaks down sobbing; he'd wait for Luke to go home, and wait a while to make sure that he hears no other footsteps around who could potentially walk in on him, before crying. And even then, he'd still repress it - trying to choke back sobs to make sure he isn't heard, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes and covering his eyes with his hand, the works. Because sadness/crying is weakness to him, and a true gentleman can never show weakness.

ANGER: Frankly, I feel like this is one of the emotions I've drawn that I actually could see him showing in the series proper. We've seen him in Unwound Future just barely holding back his anger at Clive when he endangered Flora/started wrecking havoc on London (obviously still restrained- yadda yadda yadda "true gentleman" blah blah blah).

To get him to unrestrain it, I'd say you would have to put a lot of people he cares about (particularly his wards - Luke and Flora would likely be excellent choices) in direct danger, as well as taunt him to a personal degree enough times. Because even the Professor has limits to how much mental strain he can take, and all limits can be broken. It's just a matter of pushing the right (or wrong!) buttons on him.

FEAR: This one's tough I think. As an adult who's seen a lot (including his own death), it's pretty hard to find something that would really scare him to that degree. Throughout the series the most he seems to show in terms of fear is either: a) surprise that he quickly recovers from, or b) the end of Unwound Future when he realizes that Claire can't stay with him.

I say that theoretically (and REALLY emphasize on the "theoretically"), you might be able to get him to emote the way I've drawn him... if you subject him to anything akin to his recently unrepressed memories of his childhood, and he's rendered helpless to do anything to help but watch. But like I said, only theoretically. I'd wager that he'd probably just be angry too.

LAUGHTER: ...I honestly have no good clue to how or when he'd emote like this. For him to laugh so heartily, he'd have to be in a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, which isn't often.

I'd say it'd be at a time where he's feeling very relieved, or elated (and they'd both have to be situations that connect to him personally too; outside events won't phase him). How he'd laugh to such an extent I'm not actually sure, BUT I could paint a bit of a scenario: It's the end of UF, but Claire could actually stay without dying, and she makes a sort of lighthearted joke in light of the events. Would he laugh wholeheartedly? I dunno. But judging on what we've seen of him, it's a maybe.

It's a shame we never get to see him emote so colourfully in the hexalogy proper, but as I've stated before in another long-winded half-legible ramble character analysis, he's SEVERELY repressing his emotions due to Claire's last words/"gentleman" values/positive reinforcements from his peers and environments for successfully hiding his emotions. Poor guy.

[farshootergotme]

The Bruce-dies-not-Jason AU...

Because I love angst :)

That part about Titans coming around to offer emotional support for Dick...I am now picturing ways for it to go really wrong.

Dick, who at this point is still reeling from the death of Bruce and running himself ragged trying to keep Gotham more or less intact (the Rogues seem to have sensed something is up), breaking down and telling one of the team that he feels so messed up.

He's grieving, but he's also really really angry. Not just at the Joker who deserves all and more of it, but at Bruce for dying and leaving him a mantle too big to step into, and even at Jason for running away and triggering all of this.

He doesn't really blame them, he knows it wasn't Jason's fault, but he's still so angry. He's muffling it all up within, but that's only hurting worse.

Pretty much a natural reaction, given the condition he is in. And understandable that he will be masks-off with the Titans after having to play the emotional support for his family.

Only, unknown to them, Jason is eavesdropping...

Well, as much as it isn't a bad idea to cause some drama, I don't think Dick would really go that way with his feelings? He does hate wearing the cowl and feeling like he's cosplaying the Batman instead of fitting the suit as the new protector of Gotham, but he's not the type to put the blame on others.

If anything, that mostly happens with Bruce. Like when Jason died and he blamed Dick, or when Alfred died and he implied it was Damian's fault.

Dick would most likely blame himself, as he admits having a tendency to do so.

The New Titans #57

The New Titans #55

While the angst sounds good, I can't picture Dick saying something like "I'm angry at Bruce for dying" or "I'm angry Jason fell into the Joker's trap".

You could say he was angry at Bruce when Jason died, but that was mostly because Bruce didn't tell him anything about it, tried to make him feel guilty for not attending the funeral when he hadn't even been notified, and then proceeded to basically tell him it was his fault his little brother was dead. So, yeah, Dick was angry, but that wasn't unprovoked. He actually had come originally to talk with Bruce because he knew he was going through a rough time after Jason's death.

Now, he can be more angry when the people he loves die, and he snaps more often than he normally would with all the stress, guilt and grief added into the mix, but he isn't angry at people, he's just angry. Or I would rather put it as the anger being a mask for the pain he's feeling because he can't always allow himself to be truly vulnerable when there's so much he still needs to do.

When Bruce "died" in the main continuity, there was a lot he had to do. Gotham needed him to be Batman, Jason needed to be stopped, Tim needed him to be the rock of the family, Damian needed him as a mentor and Alfred needed him to keep going, knowing that while one son was gone, there still was another son left. (Yes, Dick is Alfred's second son.)

And despite everything, he never stated being angry at any of them for the situation. Not even Bruce. What he did was lament his death because he wasn't ready for him to go.

Batman #687

I think the only way I could make this scenario work is if it's all a misunderstanding or Jason misheard something Dick said.

But if you like the idea, you do you. We all have our opinions and interpretations.

[the-nado-hunter]

Random Hetalia character head cannons/hc histories and characterizations that float in my brain but I’ve never written down - starting with England, America and Germany since I’ve thought about them the most lol:

England:

- Was the reverse of Alfred where he actually physically and emotionally aged much slower than most nations. He was barely not a teenager when he first took in Alfred (and his other “kids” by extension) when he was not at all ready/had even fully matured himself.

- I have a hc that nations who “get too big” (meaning the territory under their name grows) they kind of lose themselves and get less distinct and coherent in their motivations and sometimes don’t feel themselves at all, too many voices in their head so to speak. Unfortunately Arthur “lost it” during a pivotal part of his relationship with his family, hence all his strained relationships.

- Once he took on those responsibilities he suddenly jumped in physical age a bit. So while Alfred sees him as being SO much older (calling him an old man) his time in the nation equivalence of life stages was uneven and all over the place.

- it wouldn’t be until the 60s/70s/80s that Arthur had the time and ability to “make up for lost time” hence his musical and punk phases. He finds himself in some ways.., also likely dissolves into addiction problems at the same time.

- In the modern era he still has many anger issues but he’s a lot more calm and sure of himself, however he’s got a built up emotional wall and a whole lot of hidden self hatred that’s going to take a long long time to resolve, and he isn’t quite there yet and tends to lash out and push people away rather than deal with things.

America:

- He was very sheltered by Arthur at first, he was kept out of almost everything for most of his early life. If Arthur wasn’t present (which he often wasn’t due to the two having vastly different understandings of the passing of time) there were people hired and cycled out to take care of him. He can’t help himself though, even if he’s being treated like a sheltered little prince he wants to go run free in the fields and get into shit. He’s basically a Disney princess in his early life is what I’m saying lol.

- reality hits him like a ton of bricks when he’s roughly looking/acting about 14-15. He realizes likely through being exposed to other nations starting to come in and managing to slip out to talk to people just how much has been hidden from him and the resentment grows. And he starts REALLY growing even faster.

- Despite all that he went full on into a “fight” coping mechanism and never stopped. He put on a “mask” at one point in his life and it hasn’t come off. He’s never really deeply dealt with anything so he progressively seems more and more obtuse and seemingly arrogant to overcompensate for not wanting to face any sort of pain.

- He’s deeply deeply lonely and desperately wants closeness and to open up- yet at the same time the idea of seeming “weak” or “vulnerable” is terrifying to him. Him and Arthur are more similar than they would like to admit with how they mask and push people away despite really REALLY needing love and closeness.

Germany:

- it depends on if you accept the “Germany is HRE” theory or not, but either way I tend to think they at least have the same body but might be different entities or ‘spirits’ so to speak. That being said I imagine Ludwig specifically not only was “born” into a body that was preexisting and therefore already past a decent part of childhood, I imagine that his body was at first incredibly weak, frail, and he was very sickly for quite some time.

- I’ve written a fic about this, but I personally hc Ludwig from about 6-15 years old in appearance being almost completely unable to walk and needing braces and assistance to get around. His brother obviously loves and cares about him, but Ludwig couldn’t help but feel frustrated and like a burden. He really does look up to his big brother and is worried about being weak and reliant on others for the rest of his life.

- Ludwig GETS his strength, and as soon as he’s able to walk on his on he becomes obsessed with being as strong and capable as he possibly can be. He wants to never have to rely on anyone again, feeling an odd sense of guilt for needing so much help.

- he’s, in the end… kind of socially inept. Gilbert isn’t exactly the pinnacle of a socialized man himself - So despite being mostly independent and capable he doesn’t really understand social situations, or how to understand himself and others. Feliciano is both jarring and someone I think he becomes interested in him because Feli is capable in something he never has been and really is teaching him a lot.

- Unfortunately Ludwig had in face overcompensated for his past feelings of being a burden he’s taken so much on and has become such a protector that he’s almost unable to set boundaries and say no to requests to take on extra work- malicious or not.

- we already know Ludwig tends to explode and bark directions at people, to me it’s always been a clear sign of how much stress he’s under- but he winds up just appearing scary and he once again takes on more responsibilities and feelings of “something must be wrong with me”.

- i think many in the fandom have joked about it but Ludwig to me is SO repressed and SO gay it’s not even funny

-I would expect poor Ludwig to hit a breaking point and have a nervous breakdown eventually, which I do want to write at some point, just gotta not procrastinate lol

[sanslovesblog]

Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt. 2

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Trigger warning: mentions of harming others, self harm, trauma

Teaser | Master list | Part 3

As Dr. Y/n entered the therapy room, she noticed Choi San sitting in one of the armchairs, his gaze fixed on the door. The air was heavy with anticipation, and she knew that today would be different. She closed the door behind her, the sound echoing through the room like a silent declaration of intent.

"Today, we're going to talk about something new," she began, taking a seat opposite him. "We're going to explore your past traumas, the events that shaped you into the person you are today."

Choi San stared at her, his face a stoic mask hiding his innermost feelings. "Why do you care so much? Everyone else has given up on me. Why should you be any different?"

Dr. Y/n paused, considering her response carefully. "Because I believe there's more to you than just the violence. I see a complex individual struggling to cope with their past." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. "It's my hope that together, we can uncover the root causes of your pain and find a way to heal them."

Choi San studied her carefully, his expression guarded but hinting at vulnerability. "You really think you can make a difference?" He asked quietly, his voice barely audible.

"Yes," she replied firmly, her resolve unwavering.

"I truly believe that we can make a difference in your life. But it all depends on you – whether you're willing to trust me enough to share your deepest fears and pains."

Choi San watched her closely, his eyes tracing every subtle movement of her face. There was something in her gaze that resonated within him, stirring long-dormant feelings of connection and understanding. It wasn't pity or sympathy he saw reflected in her eyes, but genuine empathy and a desire to help. And somehow, that small glimmer of hope reassured him that perhaps things could change.

You continued to delve deeper int Choi San's childhood, hoping to uncover more about the root causes of his violent behavior. "What's your relationship with your parents?" You asked him. Choi San hesitated for a moment before describing his father as a strict and demanding man who expected nothing short of perfection from him. "My father would often physically abuse me if I didn't meet his standards, leaving me with bruises and scars" he said looking down, clenching his fists as his voice cracks with emotion.

Despite this, Choi San still felt a sense of loyalty and duty towards his father, as if he were the only one who truly understood him. As the sessions progressed, you began to see a pattern in the way Choi San dealt with his emotions. He would internalize his pain and anger, often taking it out on himself in the form of self-harm. "Instead of harming yourself, let's try a different approach" you added. You decided to approach the subject differently. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of his past, you encouraged Choi San to express his emotions through art therapy.

You gave him a set of paints, canvas, and other art supplies, and asked him to create something that represented how he felt inside. At first, Choi San was skeptical, but as he began to paint, he found himself pouring all of his anger and sadness onto the canvas. The more he painted, the more cathartic the experience became.

[rimeiii]

Random demon HCs (SFW)

Eyo, it's your girl, the one WHB poster who's interested in this game for all the wrong reasons with something non-gameplay related for once! Part of what definitely interests me is the demons in general and how they'll play off with each other + the MC. Doesn't even have to be related to the sexy stuff - some of these demons I feel have the potential to have interesting and complex dynamics with each other, particularly the Avisos demons!

So, um. Yeah. Enjoy my brainrot-

(Also I will be particularly biased towards the demons who've caught my eye. Refer to tier list below. So, um. Yeah. Sorry about that orz)

I feel like out of all the demons in Hell, Belial would be the one most attuned to music. He'd be the one to replay songs again and again, probably wearing noise-cancelling headphones so that he'll truly be immersed in the music. He probably used to love singing as a child, so when his voice was taken away, he was completely and utterly devastated. To compensate, he'd take up an instrument (like an acoustic guitar) or learn how to compose, so that at least he can express his love for music and performance...

Gusion desperately wants to cut down on work, but it's hard. He spends countless days and nights just going around solving problems - and there's an abundance of them in Hell. Honestly, he thought of creating systems to help streamline his work and problem-solving shenanigans, but holy shit everyone just loves wrecking those too, huh. After calculating and approximating the time and effort required to perform his duties, merely solving issues as they crop up is the more effective and less tiring solution to everything. Which is saying something, when that in itself is already tiring as fuck.

Leviathan is a gentleman, through and through. Cool, calm, and collected on the outside, he practically perfected the art of hiding away his negative emotions behind a charming smile and a no-nonsense attitude on the battlefield. The only people able to pry away his emotions from beneath the mask are his fellow kings, the demons of Hades, and eventually MC. And even then, he'll only be able to show his most vulnerable sides to his nobles and, again, MC (eventually). It's hard to win his trust and openness, what with his jealousy often getting in the way of him forming healthy relationships with others.

Beelzebub is actually a pretty bad cook. Like, Mystery Food X levels of bad - at least, starting out. Now, though? Well, the people who said they enjoyed his cooking have somehow deluded themselves to think it's good before the side effects kick in. Does it have hallucinogenic properties? Is it a side effect of Beelzebub's tendency to have weird things happen around him? Or perhaps he really did improve on his cooking? Who knows...who knows.

Naberius and Gusion are the perfect drinking buddies. They'd get together at a random pub somewhere in Hell when they have the time, and they'll spend their time getting buzzed while unloading everything weighing them down at the moment. Honestly, this started as an effort to help Naberius - letting out his emotions bit by bit to ensure everyone's safety is much more preferable than letting his anger and annoyance explode to an extent he becomes a Kerberos. Sometimes, they'll be joined by Bael, although rarely as he is standing in for Beelzebub. More often, Satan shows up and chats with them, as amiable as always - and they end up being his main listening ears if he needs to vent. Satan's secrets are always safe with them, and for that, he is forever thankful.

Leraye and Paimon often make things together! The former has a knack for sewing, while the latter has a lot of ideas for clothes and stuffed toys! Working together, they'd be able to create a large variety of trendy clothing and cute plush toys.

I know a lot of people HC this but yes, Marbas would be a gentle giant. While he's aroused by being restrained, I'd like to think the reason why he's always restrained is because something bad happened while he was doing something while not being restrained. Perhaps he accidentally killed someone with his sheer strength, during a more "daily life" scenario. While his strength is his pride, his ability to heal is a larger source of pride for him - which is why he agrees with the notion that putting restraints on him is for the best.

Sitri is a tea connoisseur! He likes tea, knows which tea leaves are the best, how to make specific blends of tea, how long each tea needs to steep in order to bring out a specific sort of flavor...and among the demons in Hell, there are few who can appreciate the finer details in tea brewing like him. Some of these demons include Barbatos (surprisingly enough), Foras, Bael, Bathin, and Paimon. They regularly get together to sample his teas!

Whenever Bathin wants someone to accompany him in his travels, Amon often takes him up on his offer. They'll wander around without any prior destination, dealing with problems that crop up during their travels along the way. They both live in the moment while traveling, letting the winds dictate where they'll head to next. Amon deals with most of the logistics of travel while Bathin would focus more on finding and learning about the points of interest wherever they end up. An MC who enjoys traveling would love being travel buddies with them!

Mammon's way of showing his affection is gift-giving. Though his gifts might come across as overboard sometimes. Because what do you mean he already sent over some more jewels your way? Nobody needs that many jewels, sir! Either way, Tartaros is a prospering land purely because of the many treasures Mammon gives away to his people. Whether or not these overflowing treasures gets sent off to other areas is a different story entirely.

Andrealphus would be the most sympathetic towards MC, I feel. He knows how it feels to lose someone you care about deeply, to have your life ripped away from you in an instant. He had already been in that position a long time ago, and it would greatly please him if MC would let him support them any way he can - up to and including sticking by their side to protect them.

Out of all the demons in Paradise Lost, I feel like Morax would be the one most versed in the logistics involving healing and first aid. Which is understandable - his method of healing involves transferring his patient's wounds onto him in the form of pain. As a result, he'll have to be able to gauge just how far into the healing process he should perform with his abilities - especially on the battlefield. He'd have his nose buried in books during his free time just so he can increase his healing efficacy.

[bugflies00]

roman is like ctommy because they're both loud and brash and prideful and the designated comic relief and they so often end up insulting people without even meaning to and they have a strong sense of honour/right&wrong and they want to save everyone and they have a very complicated relationship with the role of the "hero" - one's put into it without ever asking for it and suffers its consequences, the other desperately wants to reach that ideal because he thinks he's worthless otherwise - and they have a hard time being recognised when they express emotions cause they're the designated funnyman so more often than not their problems are played off as a bit. they're also both adhd coded

roman is like cwilbur because they both feel like they have to put on a performance to talk to people and to deserve to exist because they've repressed so much of their inner self it feels like second nature to put on a mask - in fact they feel vulnerable whenever someone goes "off script" and doesn't react the way they expect them to, that is, with anger/rejection etc. the "hero" thing comes back up except it's more in the sense that they both cling strongly to narrative roles as a way to understand themselves and others, and when people inevitably reveal themselves to be more complicated than that, it throws their whole worldview off and sends them on a spiral. and god forbid when they stray from their self assigned role- that's an even worse spiral, and in the case of cwilbur the self-reassignment of another role, the villain. and they both create out of a very strong passion and idealism and they cling to their creations, so when they don't work or they're rejected or it blows up in their face (literally) it destroys them because they attach so much of their self worth to what they're capable of creating and it feels like one of the only expressions of their true selves given how much they act out a role simply existing

[the-journey-was-the-point]

The Psychology of Linnéa

I did this for Callonduin, and I'm glad to finally be able to do it for Linnéa!

Entering Linnéa's head is like entering a maze-- an introspective, convoluted, philosophical maze. She's a character who morality-wise starts off the story already standing on a downhill slope. She adopts a very apathetic attitude, and only seems to show impatience when doing questionable things to achieve her goals.

And yet for such a cold character, I show her having a massive soft spot for kindness and sincerity. She struggles with her conscience, often vacillating between compassion and indifference. I plan for Elrond to, at a certain point in the story, describe her as someone who stands at a crossroads and needs to make important decisions on the type of person she wants to be.

She is someone who can either cure you or kill you. But what's behind this duality? It took me forever to put it into words but here it is:

Task-oriented

Linnéa is, by nature, very task-oriented. This means that she focuses on results and how to get them. She's the type of person who is more likely to give advice than comfort. When faced with a problem, she will look for ways to solve it.

This is a neutral trait! And it's a great skill to have, but for her, this also means that she can overlook feelings. When taken to an extreme, it means completely disregarding others. This is one of her blindspots, that even when not meaning to, she can forget to consider other people in pursuit of a goal.

2) Highly Adaptive

For better or worse, Linnéa adapts to situations pretty quickly. It's good that she's a fast learner and absorbs information very easily... but not when around the wrong influences. It just makes her susceptible to being corrupted, and unfortunately for the good guys, more of a threat when she does end up on the wrong side.

This goes not just for skills, but for emotions as well. Linnéa can adapt very quickly even in environments where she would need to hide her feelings or push away her conscience. She can quickly become desensitized to doing wrong (and by the time the story starts, she's kind of already there).

However, this raises an interesting question about her: how much of it is her, and how much of it is a defense mechanism? Is she truly indifferent to the suffering of others, or is that just something she numbed herself to in order to go on? Does her anger/irritation only shield her softer emotions, or is it a case of "becoming the mask"? Because if she were truly heartless, why would she still have moments where she struggles with her conscience?

3) Untrusting, Anxious, Controlling

The nature of her work involves danger and deceit. Over the years, she's come to distrust others, and unlike Callonduin who has a good radar but otherwise comes in with an open mind, Linnéa writes off everyone as untrustworthy from the start (even when they're genuinely good).

Apart from personal experience, there's an element of psychological projection to this. Linnéa knows just how deceitful other people can be, because she herself is like that. When one is capable of hurting others, it's hard not to be acutely aware of how the same can be done to them. With this in mind and so much on the line, she doesn't like to be vulnerable, and her vindictive and power-hungry tendencies can come out when this is violated.

4) Disconnected

Linnéa is someone who is generally disconnected from others, which leads to her disregarding them. There are two causes for this: the first is her work, which as mentioned, leads her to detach herself from others for her own protection.

The second is her immortality. She has difficulty relating to those with mortal lifespans so when having to make a tough choice, she prioritizes herself, believing that as the one who will outlive others, she needs to make choices that will benefit her in the long run. It's a case of not pride but practicality to her, since she knows that in the end, she'll be the one affected by her own decisions forever.

But when she's in an environment where she can connect with others, it brings back her empathy and gets her to be more caring and conscientious.

5) Tired and apathetic, impatient

A core trait of hers is how generally tired of life she is. I want to explore how if even older Elves become weary, what more a half-Elf who perceives time like a human but is immortal?

Linnéa is tired of being alive and it weighs down on her. It's another reason why she behaves so indifferently, taking no interest in the world around her. After holding out for so long, she cannot wait a moment longer to achieve her lifeline goal of sailing to Valinor.

Lanthir at a certain point calls her out, saying that she "doesn't value life", and this is exactly true. She stopped valuing life when she stopped valuing living, and this extends to how she sees the lives of others.

6) An Unattainable Goal

Linnéa's shallow goal of sailing to Valinor is posed as near-impossible from the start. Being a half-elf, let alone one with a human appearance, the likelihood of her being able to sail is low. Her Elf father disappeared and kept her family's existence a secret, the one guy who knew about them took advantage of her with false promises of help, and then it turned out her family has a history of screwing powerful people over, which really doesn't do her any favors.

It's made clear to her pretty early on in the story that the odds are against her. There are many obstacles in her way, and in pursuit of her goal, she actually pushes herself farther from attaining them.

7) A Desire For What You Lack

Despite all of this, Linnéa shows her inner goodness through the things that make her cave. She displays the tendency to desire what one lacks, and in her case, it's sincerity, goodness, and hope.

To begin with, it's Fíli's stubborn kindness that gets her to accompany him on his quest. Around her friends, she defrosts when she sees how supportive and trustworthy they are with one another. Much later, Lanthir's stalwart virtue and genuine compassion bring out her good side when she begins to go downhill.

Linnéa doesn't see a lot of sincerity, goodness, and hope in her life, so when she sees it, especially despite a person's hardships, she can't help but marvel at it like it's a light in the darkness.

----

Additionally! There are 3 key concepts that I like to write her character around:

What happens when you can't get what you want?

Though there's always an AU, I think it's pretty important that she doesn't get to sail to Valinor. The goal you worked so hard to achieve and pinned all your hopes on just isn't happening. Now what?

What do you do with your life?

This is a question everyone faces, exaggerated by her immortal lifespan. Given the duality of her nature, Linnéa is often put in positions where she has to consider the type of effect her actions will have on the world, what she'll have to live with, and the knowledge that life will keep going on and on.

Doing the right thing can cost you. It can also require a leap of faith.

Another concept addressed by her character is how being good takes sacrifice, which can mean going into the unknown. It tackles having to willingly give up the things one worked hard to cultivate and facing the day after, and having no control or knowledge of what comes next.

----

And that's it! I'm really just glad I can enjoy writing her now. I used to be frustrated, now I'm frustrated in a fun way XD I find it entertaining that it's just never a straight answer with her.

[zodiactalks]

How Each Zodiac Sign Deals with SADNESS

Sadness is one of those emotions we'd rather not feel.

No matter how honest we are about our feelings, or how self-aware we are, sadness has a way of surprising us and enveloping us when we least expect it.

While a perfectly normal part of the human experience, sadness has a way of bringing out our worst qualities, and we all react to it differently.

There are a few commonalities in how we tackle this unpleasant emotion, though, which is why today we'll be talking about the signs and sadness.

Let's get started!

Aries

It all depends on whether Aries has an appropriate conduit for their emotions or not.

When they lack an outlet, Aries's sadness transforms into anger, which they use against everyone around them at the slightest provocation.

When they have an outlet –be it in the form of exercise or a craft– then they'll pour all their negative emotions into it, transforming them into something productive.

Regardless of what they do, though, one thing remains constant: Arians refuse to acknowledge their sadness and will avoid it at all costs.

To cope with sadness in a healthy way, Arians need to conquer their fear of vulnerability and explore their negative emotions.

Taurus

Tauruses tend to be couch potatoes who enjoy outside activities only on their terms, so when they're experiencing sadness, it's not surprising that they double down on this.

A sad Taurus is a Taurus that will indulge in creature comforts while isolating themselves from others; They'll binge eat while binge-watching Netflix, and will reject social activities that they might've loved to participate in at any other point.

While they're not opposed to acknowledging their sadness, they can easily be consumed by the things they do to feel better, so they should be careful about that.

The best way of doing this is attempting to stick to a routine, no matter how unpleasant the idea may be, as this will provide the kind of stability a sad Taurus needs.

Gemini

Because they're always eager to please others and are often the ones making other people laugh, they're not particularly good at feeling sad.

In fact, they take it very hard.

A sad Gemini will become even more of an overthinker, focusing on the thoughts that made them sad, and feeling worse and worse in return.

Luckily, this approach to sadness comes with its solution: It's okay to overthink things, as long as you let those emotions out.

Writing, filming a vlog, even just chatting with a friend. As long as Gemini shares their feelings, they'll be able to get over their funk.

Cancer

Cancer's sadness is obvious and difficult to ignore, particularly when you're not a Cancer yourself.

Sad cancers become clingier and needier than usual, requiring constant reassurance and emotional support.

When they feel sad, it's not uncommon for Cancers to feel like they're not good enough, which makes them cling to their friends, which can be annoying to them, which in turn makes Cancer feel guilty and even sadder.

While the urge to be close to those they love is understandable, the best way for Cancer to deal with sadness is to distract themselves from the feelings of inadequacy by doing something that keeps their minds off things.

Arts and crafts serve the double purpose of distracting Cancer and leaving them with a little token they can gift to people supporting them through their sadness.

Leo

While Leo's don't make a conscious effort to mask their sadness, it tends to morph into stress.

A sad Leo is a theatrical Leo, someone who'll blow small things out of proportion and will react to even the slightest inconvenience as if it was the worst thing in the world.

They're unafraid of facing and acknowledging their sadness, but unless they have someone to confide in, they'll struggle to get through the negative feelings without feeling overwhelmed.

For Leo, the best course of action is to surrender their pride and allow themselves to be vulnerable with others for however long it takes to feel better.

Virgo

Virgos deal with sadness by multiplying every aspect of their personality in a way that rarely makes them look good in the eyes of others.

They'll become self-absorbed and blunt, will overthink even more than usual, and will simply stop considering other people's feelings while dealing with their own.

While these compulsive behaviors will scare away people, even those who want to stick around to lend a hand. Virgo is lucky in the sense that to improve, they need to tackle their sadness head-on and reflect on that rather than distracting themselves with other thoughts.

Apologizing to others after lashing out and hurting them is also the way to go, as it's harder to deal with guilt on top of sadness.

Libra

Always wishing to maintain a semblance of balance, sad Libras will attempt to put on a happy face for others, even if they're dying on the inside.

When alone, they'll be moody and lethargic, and once the effort to appear happy and unbothered becomes too much, they might shun social interactions altogether.

The healthiest thing Libra can do, thus, is to stop pretending to be okay for the comfort of others and lean into friends and loved ones for comfort and reassurance.

Scorpio

Though they might wish for support and understanding, a sad Scorpio will lash out and attack those who attempt to comfort them.

Scorpios always try to portray themselves as strong and capable, so when they feel weak and vulnerable, they prefer to hide and lick their wounds in peace.

Forcing themselves to socialize with others is counterproductive, so Scorpio should focus on spending time with only those they want to see.

Sagittarius

Sagittarians look for sources of escapism, be they positive or negative.

When sad, they run the risk of abusing substances to stop thinking about that sadness, and they become even more withdrawn and intolerant than usual.

They have everything they need to get over their sadness on their own, but to do so they need to actively work on it rather than escape.

Capricorn

Sad Capricorns fall into what can only be described as a robotic mindset.

They'll go through the motions of their day-to-day life, but will be disinterested and detached from the whole experience.

While the loss of inspiration will be challenging, continuing to do passion projects is a sure way of getting Capricorn out of their funk.

Aquarius

Aquarians, take sadness very harshly because they hate the feeling.

They'll attempt to appear happy in the hopes of feeling happy, but the truth is that, when they're sad, they can only feel numb and disinterested.

This numbness is often an attempt to protect themselves from negative feelings, so daring to tackle them head-on is the best way of improving.

Pisces

Pisces are sensitive signs by nature and they become even more sensitive when they're sad.

A sad Pisces will obsess over whatever is making them sad, which will unleash a spiral of sadness they won't be able to get out without conscious effort.

In order to improve, Pisces will have to work on getting out of the spiral or, better yet, not falling into it, to begin with.

[sequinsmile-x]

Hey!

I was wondering, would you ever consider writing a fic where Aaron and Emily experience a miscarriage but where Aaron’s feelings are shown? Because in most fics that I’ve read about pregnancy loss, it always focuses more on Em’s feelings, which is understandable as it impacts her the most (and I know in real life, it is always harder for the mother)

But I feel like it would be nice to explore Aaron’s feelings because I just know he would try to hide how he feels and how upset he is to support Emily because he knows she needs it and that she needs him to be strong for her. But I would love to see Aaron finally showing his feelings about the situation and him showing his vulnerable side to Em and how heartbroken he is about the situation and Emily maybe comforting him

hiii bestie!! Of course <3

Also, when I wrote this I realised I rarely write about Aaron being emotional like this, so it's a little outside of my comfort zone. I really hope it's in character and would love to know what you all think!

-x-

Lost at Sea - Part Two

He feels an all too familiar sensation wash over him, the sense of relief that everything was ok quickly turning into sadness, the reality of what they had lost earlier in the year finally hitting him in full force. 

-x-

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Major themes of miscarriage

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He’d always been told that he was emotionless. That he was too serious. His stern expressions and practicality often mistaken for lack of care, and it had become an easy mask to hide behind, the truth buried deep within his chest under lock and key. A type of self-protection that had saved his life countless times. 

It was something he’d learnt to do when he was young, his father's rage dissipating whenever he saw he wasn’t getting a reaction out of his young son, and it was far too late to undo it now. It was automatic, something as easy as breathing, and most of the time Aaron wasn’t even aware he was doing it. 

It used to drive Haley crazy, especially when they argued. She’d always been prone to reacting sharply, her emotions getting the better of her as she said things she’d later apologise for, her frustration at him only increasing as he kept his cool. His voice and facial expressions even as he tried to explain his side. He wished every day that it hadn’t taken her dying for him to finally let it all out. His anger coming out in his fists as he beat Foyet beyond recognition. His love escaping in the tears that landed in her hair as he held her. The guilt he still felt to this day driving him to raise their son as she would have wanted. 

Emily was much more similar to him when it came to her emotions. She compartmentalised so well that it put his ability to do so to shame. Their childhoods were vastly different, but their outcomes had been the same - both of them afraid to express their emotions in case there were consequences. It was something that had initially made them friends. The fact they understood each other more deeply than the others could, well aware that what someone else might mistake for coldness was merely a defence mechanism born out of circumstance. 

It meant that they trusted each other and confided in each other. Each of them willing to crack their own facades just enough for the other to peek through. 

When they got together, his support for her after she returned from Paris slowly morphing into more, any pretence that they weren’t each other’s safe space fell away. They looked after each other. They never pushed each other. And they loved each other in the way that they had both always deserved. 

He feels his wife squeeze his hand and it drags him out of his thoughts. He smiles encouragingly at her from his seat next to the bed she was laying in. She smiles back, although it shakes, her anxiety written all over her face. 

“Everything will be fine no matter what, ok?” He says gently, his eyes flicking over to her doctor who was sitting patiently on Emily’s other side. 

Emily nods sharply and clears her throat, “Yeah,” she replies, her lips set in a firm line. 

“Ok, Emily,” the doctor says, smiling kindly, “Would you mind lifting up your shirt and we’ll have a look at your baby.” 

Emily does as she’s told with the hand that isn’t clasped around his, her pants already unbuttoned and loosened, “At least I get to keep my pants on for this one,” she jokes, her voice shaking. 

Aaron chuckles lightly and the doctor joins in, “It was still very early when I saw you a few weeks ago, baby should be much bigger now,” she grabs the bottle of gel, “This will be cold.” 

He watches as his wife doesn’t even flinch as the doctor squeezes the gel onto her skin. Emily’s eyes are fixed on the ceiling, staring straight up as she breathes out a slow breath. 

It had been 8 months since her miscarriage. At first, she’d been completely hesitant to try again having convinced herself that this was something that simply wasn’t going to happen for them. As she got more used to the grief that now had permanent residence in both of their chests, she started talking about it again as something they would do. A child of their own an inevitability, and the sense of hope that had surrounded them before the ultrasound that had changed everything slowly returned. 

As soon as she fell pregnant again her anxiety returned in full force. He felt it himself. The grief and emotions he’d expertly pushed down and locked away since she’d lost the baby so he could look after her, threatening to break free. 

It was her 12-week appointment, the same one where they had found out about the miscarriage last time, and Emily was as nervous as he had ever seen her. She couldn’t even hide it if she tried, her emotional control ravaged by pregnancy hormones and exhaustion, so any worries he had were pushed to the back of his mind as he assured her that everything would be fine no matter what happened. 

“Let’s see what baby is up to,” the doctor says, and Emily closes her eyes, screwing them shut tightly as if she can’t bring herself to look at the screen. He raises their joint hands to his lips and kisses her knuckles, keeping his eyes on her as the doctor presses buttons, the clicking sound loud in the otherwise quiet room, “And there it is.”

It’s the happiness in her voice, a complete contrast to when she’d softly told them something was wrong last time, that makes them both look at her, both of them drawing in stilted breaths as they look at the screen. 

“Is that…” Emily’s voice trails off, tears running down from her eyes into her ears, “It’s ok?” 

The doctor nods and smiles at her, “Everything looks perfect,” she confirms, “And,” she flicks a switch and a loud wooshing noise that he recognises from when Haley was pregnant with Jack fills the room, “Everything sounds perfect too.” 

Emily chokes on a laugh, the sound catching in her throat as she turns to look at him, her eyes shining, “The baby’s ok,” she chokes out. 

He leans down to kiss her, the salt of her tears against his lips, and he smiles, breathing slowly as he pulls away. 

“Everything’s ok,” he says, smiling at her, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” she replies, looking back at the screen and addressing the doctor, “Can you print some pictures?” She chuckles, wiping her cheeks with her hand

The doctor replies, but their conversation fades out as Aaron continues to look at the screen, his eyes fixed on the flicker of the heartbeat of their baby. He starts to picture them, everything he’d thought about for weeks, months, finally coming into full focus. A little girl who was the double of his wife but with his temperament, or a little boy who looked just like him but was wild like his mother. 

He feels an all too familiar sensation wash over him, the sense of relief that everything was ok quickly turning into sadness, the reality of what they had lost earlier in the year finally hitting him in full force. 

___

Emily groans as she wakes up, blinking to clear her blurry eyes as she sits up, totally unaware that she had fallen asleep on the couch. 

“You are sucking the life out of me,” she murmurs, her hand pressing into her belly, “You’re totally worth it though. So just…stay where you are.” 

The relief that everything was ok with the baby was palpable, thrumming through her veins ever since the doctor let them listen to the heartbeat. Emily knew that there was a long way to go, that she would still have days where the anxiety would feel overwhelming, but right now she was as happy as she had been in a long time. Joy and hope that she hadn’t felt since she was pregnant the first time easing the tightness in her chest that had been present for weeks. She stands up and stretches, chuckling to herself as her stomach gurgles. It felt as if she kept going back and forth between being so nauseous she couldn’t imagine ever eating again and being so hungry she could cry. 

She currently felt the latter. 

Jack was with Jessica and Roy for the weekend, a camping trip he’d been looking forward to, and they were finally going to tell him he was going to be a big brother when he got home. In the meantime, she was looking forward to spending time with her husband and planning out a future that had felt so far away only that morning.

“Come on, let’s go find Daddy,” she says, walking from the living room towards the home office where she knew her husband would be. The door is slightly ajar, light streaming out from under it, and she pushes it all the way open as she walks in, “Honey, can we go out for tacos? The baby wants…”

She drifts off as he comes into view, his head in his hands, his elbows on his desk, and a glass of whiskey that clearly hadn’t been touched next to him. He looks up as she walks in and his eyes are shining. He quickly wipes his cheek and clears his throat. 

“You’re hungry sweetheart?” He asks, as if she hadn’t walked in on him crying, “We can-”

“What’s wrong?” She asks, cutting over him, “What’s happened?”

Aaron sighs and clasps his hands on his desk, “I’m fine.”

She stares at him and crosses her arms over her chest, leaning against the doorframe, “You’re not fine. You’ve been crying.” 

She could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen him cry. It was something he was rarely driven to. Unshed tears would make his eyes shine but never fall, something she knows was conditioned into him at a young age. A lesson he learnt from his father that he was desperate not to teach to Jack, both of them frequently telling the young boy it was ok to cry. She wracks her brain and tries to figure out what must have happened. They got home from the doctor’s office and settled on the couch for a while, both staring at the ultrasound photo that was still on the coffee table in the living room. She fell asleep and he must have slipped away to come here, weighed down by something he didn’t want to share. 

Now that she thinks about it he’d held her a little closer than usual as they snuggled on the couch, his lips against her temple as they spoke about everything that was to come. 

“Em-”

“We don’t keep things from each other,” she cuts over him, his denial clear on his face, “And we certainly don’t lie to each other.” 

They have a silent standoff, staring at each other until he sighs again and looks down at his desk, “You’re right,” he says, clearing his through in a failed attempt to hide the way it shakes, “I’m sorry.” 

Any annoyance she may have felt at him trying to keep something from her fades away, and her arms fall to her sides, as she watches him try to hold it together. “Aaron…” She’s across the room in a second, encouraging him to push his chair back just enough for her to climb into his lap. He holds her close, his arms tight around her, and she cups his face, a palm on each cheek as she makes him look at her, “What’s going on? Is someone hurt?”

“No,” he replies, shaking his head, “Nothing like that,” he assures her, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. One of his hands slips around her waist and presses into her stomach, entirely covering the slight bump that had appeared, only obvious to the two of them. 

It makes her frown and she pulls back to look at him, her thumb wiping away a tear. It clicks into place. The way he’d asked the doctor countless questions at the end of appointment, how he’d bought her every pre-natal vitamin he could and mentioned on the drive home that they needed to start cooking healthier. 

“The baby is fine, Aaron,” she says, smiling reassuringly at him, “You heard what the doctor said. And you heard the heartbeat,” she adds, her chin trembling as she forces back her emotions, “Everything is fine.” 

“It wasn’t last time,” he says quietly, tensing his jaw as tears fall from his lashline. 

His words make her breath hitch in her chest, her body stiff against him as they wash over her. She tries to think desperately about that time 8 months ago when she first tried to act like she was ok before becoming so overwhelmed by the grief, by what they had lost, that she had almost drowned in it. He’d held her up, been the thing that kept her aloft when she couldn’t keep her head above water, and she feels awful that, beyond quiet conversations in bed, she never thought about what he had lost too. That he may have helped her to his own detriment. 

“Aaron,” she exclaims, her vision becoming blurry with tears, “I’m so sorry.” 

“God, Em, no,” he replies, shaking his head, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Not for the…the miscarriage,” she says, her voice wavering. It was still hard to talk about and she wondered if it would ever be easier. If having the baby she was currently pregnant with in her arms would make the loss of the one she never held any duller. She had a feeling it wouldn’t. “For not thinking about how you’ve been struggling too.” 

“You were the one it happened to,” he says, almost sounding angry with himself as he furiously wipes the tears from his cheeks, “You were the one who was in so much pain you couldn’t sleep.” 

“And you had to watch it,” she replies, smiling sadly at him, “Seeing the person you love in pain isn’t easy. And it was your baby too,” she rests her forehead against his and they both close their eyes, breathing each other in, “If I hadn’t…we’d have a baby by now,” she says, her breath catching on a sob, “It’s ridiculous because we’ll never know, but I thought it was a girl.” 

“Me too,” he says, pulling back and looking at her, “And it’s not ridiculous.” 

She smiles at him and rubs her thumb back and forth over his jawline, “Please talk to me about this kind of thing.” 

“I didn’t want to upset you,” he says, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “You were struggling and I didn’t want to add to it.”

She shakes her head at him, unsure how he could still think, after all this time, that his feelings weren’t important, “We look after each other. It’s what we do.” 

He nods, “Ok,” he clears his throat, his chin trembling as more tears fall onto his cheeks, “You’re right.” 

“I always am,” she quips, winking at him, smiling through her tears when he smiles back, “And everything is ok this time,” she says, taking his hand and pressing it on her belly, “The baby is the right size and is healthy and in 6 months-”

“The baby will be here,” he says, his smile shaking. 

“Exactly,” she pulls him in for a hug, his head resting on her chest, and she holds him tight, her fingers running through his hair, “I love you so fucking much.” 

“No swearing in front of the baby,” he jokes, his words muffled against her shirt, and she holds him a little tighter, showing her fake irritation without words, “I love you too.” 

She pulls away and looks at him, “It’s going to be great.” 

They share a smile, both thinking of all those months ago as they sat on their porch, the loss they had experienced the sharpest it had been, leaving an ache they weren’t sure would ever clear. 

“Yeah,” he replies, pulling her closer as he kisses her, “It’s going to be great.” 

-x-

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